New York Times
I don’t believe it should be a concern to be 30 and never been married but a concern that she can’t seem to find a man that’s her equal. I feel like marriage is pressed against women in general but the focus seem to be more on women than men on why they are single. I found the fact that 73.1 percent of black men between the ages of 25 and 29 have never been married to be shocking. Like we discussed in class African American women are getting married as they get older and older so the age cap at 29 might not be as telling. The author also mentions interracial dating as a solution but when white men are not ‘choosing’ to be with a black women as she states in the article, it can be hard.
From the Bethea article, “African-American Women and the Male-Female Relationship Dilemma: A Counseling Perspective”:
I think stereotypes have kept Black men and women apart and therefore the Black family is becoming uncommon. I think the negative view of both sex have been detrimental to the Black Family. From previous articles we have read we learned how black men used to cherish their families with the highest standard but in recent times it seems like a family is the last thing on a men’s mind. The sad part to me is that it’s not only society that’s filled with this view but we also use it against one another within the community. I hear so many of my friends say they don’t date African American women based on things they see in Bad Girls Club or Love and Hip Hop. I think the media is the biggest obstacle in reaching a high, successful marriage within the African American community. This is true especially to the younger generation where most of the TV they watch is filled with “reality shows” and not really seeing a functional black family on TV if they dont have a role model at home.
Issues and Approaches
Open communication: I think communication is important in all aspect of life and the article mentions that problems are never resolved because of broken communication. I think if there was an open environment where people’s true intentions were heard and understood, it would solve a lot of our day to day problems.
Stereotypes: we all have a reason we hold certain stereotypes to be true and so having a better understanding of where these view black women hold in regards to men are rooted from can help break barriers between black men and women.
Loss: I personally think that a personal loss can guide or misguide us and our view and take on the world. Loss is something thats hard to discuss so having a better method of dealing with loss and grief can be extremely beneficial.
Being a man about it: Manhood meaning among African American men.
Defining Manhood-
· An interconnected state of being
· A fluid process
· Redemptive process
· Proactive course
I was not surprised that Responsibility – Accountability was top ranked. I
believe that these are important to every man. I just don’t think men voice them like
women do.
**Steve Harveys take on current state of Young Black Men
Your reaction to the NY Times peace when you stated how the focus is placed on women about being over 30 and not married is one that stood out to me. I feel that it is a very unfair focus but I feel that the focus is put on women for the mere fact that women are child bearers. Without the woman there can be no children and because women are faced with a "ticking clock", this only increases that pressure for them to find a husband soon and reproduce.
ReplyDeleteI agree that if should not matter what age you are and that should not be the basis for marriage. It is important to know when you are ready for that lifetime commitment and for that someone to have some of the same interests such as yourself. I feel that more people of color are starting to pay more attention to that separation of family and the lack of support for African American male's. I feel like these steps of paying attention and communication is a postive step in the right direction.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you and cynthia that it shouldn't matter the age in which a person decides to get married. I feel if you do it too young, then that could be a bad move, and if you do it too old it may or may not happen. I also agree with you whem you say that blacks have lost thmesleves in the different stereotypes. Blacks have not only lost sight of marriages but relationships period. I feel as if the negative stereotypes and the slave mentality have killed blacks percentages for marriage, and I don't see this changing no time soon.
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